


The Language of Flowers...and They Say Fuck You

by Jeenius_the_Dork



Category: Linked Universe - Fandom, The Legend of Zelda & Related Fandoms
Genre: Crack, I made Four content guys., Linked Universe (Legend of Zelda), Modern AU, The Language of Flowers, a mood, can a get a yell heah, flower shop au, fuck you in flower, goblin brain activate, im very tired
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-30
Updated: 2019-05-30
Packaged: 2020-03-29 14:23:15
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 492
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19021726
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jeenius_the_Dork/pseuds/Jeenius_the_Dork
Summary: Four didn't even work in the shop but by Hylia he was going to help this angry, terrifying woman.





	The Language of Flowers...and They Say Fuck You

Honestly, at this point Four thought nothing could really surprise him anymore, yet here he was. Standing in front of him was a dishevelled looking ranch woman with flaming orange hair and  a glint in her eyes that exuded incomprehensible rage. He desperately looked around for any help, anyone that worked in the flower shop really, before sliding off the counter and slowly turning to the woman.

 

“Ma’am are you alright?” Four asked.

 

“My husband is an idiot and I don’t know what to do.” the woman yelled.

 

To be honest, Four had no idea how to respond to that immediately. And he liked to think he always knew what to say. First of all, he didn’t work here. Second, this woman looked like she could bench press him and all of his siblings with little effort. 

 

Long story short, he was scared.

 

But at the same time, he knew the person who owned the shop and he  _ never _ stopped talking about flowers, and what those flowers meant. Four was a blacksmith he honestly did not care...but now he was a blacksmith that knew about flowers. Oh  _ boy _ .

 

“Hey so I don’t actually work here, I’m a smith, but I think I got just the thing for you.” Four said.

 

Within five minutes Four had a bouquet of flowers all wrapped and ready to go, tied together in a black bow to end it all. Now, Malon knew her way around the farm she was very good with animals and all that but she didn’t know a thing about the language of flowers. All she knew was that the germaniums, foxglove, yellow carnations, orange lilies and meadowsweet were supposed to mean fuck you.

 

“Trust me, I know the guy that owns the shop. I’m practically a professional now.” Four said, sensing the woman’s uncertainty.

 

“Oh why thank you, darling. Um, how much do I owe you?” she asked.

 

“I mean, again, I don’t actually work here. And honestly for your idiot, it’s on the house. I’ll cover you.” Four replied.  _ If he survived to see another day, this would all be so, so glorious. _

 

“You sure?” Malon asked.

 

“Link won’t even notice anything is gone.” Four lied. A horrible, horrible lie he  _ knew _ at least Twilight would have heard. So he continued to smile through the oncoming internal pain.

 

It would all be worth it.

 

-

 

As it turns out, Four had a pretty easy time surviving. Half way through the night he got a message from a very distressed Twilight, yelling about how his mom had gotten his dad a ‘fuck you’ bouquet. There were typos everywhere, Twi’s father (also named Link, nicknamed Time) was as confused and distressed at the bouquet. And at that moment, Four knew everything he’d ever done in his life lead up to this moment.

 

“Dude...you’ve been laughing at nothing for nearly an hour are you okay?” Shadow asked.

 

Oh Shadow, if only you knew.


End file.
